while catching up with an old friend of mine recently, we discussed recent hook ups, and he expressed a disdain for the person (a mutual friend) he had spent the night with. this made me so annoyed that i just had to blog about it, especially because in my estimation they were not an uneven match. while it is tempting to put down a person you've hooked up with if they're not your dream guy (or girl), i think the thing to remember is that hooking down (an expression i came up with, isn't it neat?) doesn't really make you look bad. what makes you look bad is talking about how you're better than the person you hooked up with.
looking at things from the flip side, being psyched about a hook up or at least respectful about it generally just makes you look good. for you, it makes you seem like a person who is a) not shallow, and b) knows what you're interested in. and as a plus, it generally makes the person you hooked up with look better also, that maybe there was something cool or interesting about them that you noticed which no one else had. so both you and your partner come out the better for it, and both seem like better and more interesting people.
on the other hand, when you decide to claim a superiority over the person you've hooked up with, you really only look worse. whether or not the people you're talking to think that you are better than the person, you stating it makes you seem like you're full of yourself. you also seem like an ass for being mean to this poor hook up partner, and like someone who sort of takes advantage of people that you're not interested in just for your own needs. and it makes the people you're talking to feel bad for the other person, especially if it's someone they think is nice.
bottom line: go for what you're interested, and don't hook up with people that you will regret. but if it happens, go with it. be a respectful person and don't badmouth the person, and you'll still come out of it looking better.
on an unrelated note, recent comments from good friends of mine have revealed that my blog is uninteresting and makes me seem like i'm full of myself. readers, i'm sorry and i'll try to work on this in the future.
looking at things from the flip side, being psyched about a hook up or at least respectful about it generally just makes you look good. for you, it makes you seem like a person who is a) not shallow, and b) knows what you're interested in. and as a plus, it generally makes the person you hooked up with look better also, that maybe there was something cool or interesting about them that you noticed which no one else had. so both you and your partner come out the better for it, and both seem like better and more interesting people.
on the other hand, when you decide to claim a superiority over the person you've hooked up with, you really only look worse. whether or not the people you're talking to think that you are better than the person, you stating it makes you seem like you're full of yourself. you also seem like an ass for being mean to this poor hook up partner, and like someone who sort of takes advantage of people that you're not interested in just for your own needs. and it makes the people you're talking to feel bad for the other person, especially if it's someone they think is nice.
bottom line: go for what you're interested, and don't hook up with people that you will regret. but if it happens, go with it. be a respectful person and don't badmouth the person, and you'll still come out of it looking better.
on an unrelated note, recent comments from good friends of mine have revealed that my blog is uninteresting and makes me seem like i'm full of myself. readers, i'm sorry and i'll try to work on this in the future.
posted by Amanda at 9:49 AM
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