i am growing increasingly suspicious of a formerly communist country located to China's north. i have recently learned that this country's embassy, which i can see from my bedroom window, is the largest in the world. in the world! it has also recently come to my attention that the restaurant down my block, which is about 100 yards from said embassy, and serves the cuisine of that embassy's counry, has some sort of underground tunnel system that leads to all the surrounding buildings. my boss, who is friends with the owner of the restaurant, has seen it! my boss is british, so i think we can trust him. also, one of the women at my job says she's from "salt lake city," and has lots of childhood stories that sound like they came out of little house on the prairie, but i've noticed that whenever she talks to someone for a long time, her speech develops a certain accent that belongs unmistakably to the country i have described above. her name is like sarah jones or something, but i like to call her natasha. now, i'm not saying that we should return to a cold war mentality, i'm just saying be on your guard. they don't make shirts that say "KGB: Still Watching You" for nothing.
oh also, joking aside, the little store near my apartment can exchange money, and mandie and i have noticed that russian men (probably from the embassy) can often be seen exchanging large wads of hundred dollar bills. american dollar bills. if you can think of a legitimate reason why russian embassy men living in china would have lots of american hundred dollar bills, let me know. i'm stumped.